When I am inevitably asked what is it up with my family, I just explain when our birthdays are, and the questioner responds with an enlightened "Ohhhhhh!" Both my natal family and the family I am currently building with my husband are interesting to analyze under the lens of astrology. When I say "interesting" that means "wow all your shit makes sense now." Take my parents and brothers. My parents are both Leos. This sounds disastrous already, huh? Looking at pagannews.coms definitions of Leo, a few key phrases pop out - unwilling to concede, afraid of losing face, prideful, totally committed, long-lasting love, brave, over frank, sulky. Thats both my folks, alright. They love each other, but oh my lord can they fight. To their credit they never did so within earshot of us, though I got to hear about it later. Theyve been married 45 years. Youd think theyd have stopped fighting by now. I think they enjoy it. Add into that my older brother and I, both Aries. Now we didnt just fight because of a disagreement; we fought for the fun of it. A frequent statement was: "Stop arguing, you guys are saying the same thing!" To which the only response usually was, "Were not arguing, were debating." My poor Sagittarian little brother would just quietly slip out of the room and avoid the issue altogether.

There were good things about this entirely fire-sign family, of course. We all learned to stand up for ourselves. No shrinking violets or shaded opinions here. No sir, we have a strong reputation for being outspoken about how we feel. But we also learned to keep to the facts when voicing our point of view, to not get personal, because that would cut too deep, and become too much to deal with. Additionally, there were no games, no hidden feelings or grudges; everything was out in the open, addressed, dealt with, then it was OVER. Of course, when faced with these kinds of games and mental practices later on, I was equally outspoken about my opinion of them: "Thats stupid, just tell me what the hell you want and Ill tell you if youre going to get it."

Ok, so maybe not the best preparation for the dating game.

I remember in particular my mothers approach to our arguments. Wed say our piece, stalk off in different directions, and then shortly thereafter my mother would appear and put a sandwich or something in front of me, then disappear again. And then Id know she didnt want to argue about it anymore, and things were ok with us. Some people might criticize her inability to say she was sorry, but I took what I could get. In its own way, it was a love language. Family is the ultimate enforcer of the Whatever Works School of Relationships.

So having grown up in this entirely Fire household, I knew what I was looking for in a mate. I married my best friend, an Aquarius. He feeds me, I light him up. Yeah, take that however you like. His Air and my Fire; it works. Then I got pregnant without looking at the calendar. It only occurred to me that my sons sign was going to be important when I saw what it was.

June. A Gemini.

Into our life came a contrary, unpredictable, insatiably curious, intelligent kangaroo of a child. Hes beautiful, social, affectionate, and he drives me crazy. He knows it too. He loves it. He fires me up in an entirely different way; he pushes my buttons. I love him so much, but its taken a lot of strength for me to overcome some of my natural Aries impulses and find new reserves of patience. I like to think Ive become a better person because of him.

But the second baby is an Aquarius. Far easier. I think next time well aim for Sagittarius ...