Since birth, maybe even while in the womb, we’re all inundated with judgment values of all sorts. Society, the media, religions, and governments constantly portray what’s right and wrong, beautiful and ugly, good and bad, etc. We can’t help but grow up with these imposed values and, worse of all, to actually follow these guidelines throughout our lives. We all tend to act in accordance with these values, presupposing thoughts and emotions about others…the way they look, dress, cut their hair, whether or not they have tattoos and what kinds, the music they like, how much money they make, the company they associate with, the beliefs they ascribe to, and so much more.

Sometimes our judgments about others are correct. Other times, not at all. Our perceptions sometimes save us from bad situations or lead us to fantastic experiences. Or they may lead us away from what could have been a great experience had we not been so judgmental from the start. We pagans rely more and more on intuition, sensing positive and negative energy released all around us. It takes a lot of practice and focusing to be able to accurately sense things about others, mainly because we have to break away from the value parameters in which we were raised to believe. We need to constantly focus first on our intuition, bypassing thoughts and beliefs, and allow our spiritual energy to flow free and sense the heart of the energy. Takes a lot of practice!

Though I’m getting better at it, I still find myself regarding people - even people I never met - with the values on which I was raised. I force myself to squash these thoughts and instead unblock my intuition and let it guide me. But, still, I can’t help think certain things about people, though I know I am wrong in these thoughts. For example, I see a woman and my first thought, quite impulsively, is whether or not she’s attractive enough for me to want to be seen in public with (horrible thought, I know…don’t shoot me!). Then I’ll really look at her, sensing what I can from her, and often sense the beauty of her Light…but yet again another thought creeps up: our outsides are a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. Is that a fair form of assessment? After all, being that we’re all pure energy, our outer bodies form in the shapes we want ourselves to look like or perceive it should be. Our outer selves are what we choose to portray to others. If we consider that the vast majority of the world clings to these socially-created-and-accepted values, then a person’s self-assessment and self-portrayal are going to be a reflected in how this person looks and acts because this person believes he or she should either be like something they’re truly not or this person gives up trying to be that socially-accepted form and portrays him or herself in other, often negative, forms of social values. In other words, if individuals believe, for example, they cannot be as beautiful as some hot TV model, they give up, and choose (unconsciously, I’m sure) something else…and that something else is often negative, such as “ugly”, “unattractive”, “beautiful on the inside…but”, and a host of other socially-colorful, or (trying to be nice) politically-correct (eh-hem) expressions. They choose to be what society expects them to be because they had chosen to give up trying to meet the golden values of society’s expectations. Either be like “us”, or be ugly, unsuccessful, sad, poor, weak…less-than-human. What a hell of a thing society does to people!

Now the big question: how do we undo all what we’ve been taught to believe and value? It comes down to choice, of course. The choice consists of two lanes. One, we need to stop being self-critical and allow ourselves to freely express our inner spirituality. Easy, right? Maybe not…this means we have to release all of these pre-imposed values from our minds and hearts. Otherwise, we might have a tendency to focus on what “they” (society) say we should be and grow towards that direction. Two, we need to do the same for others. We cannot rightfully cling to expectations and values for people we come across throughout our lives. In other words, we must allow others to choose for them as we choose for ourselves. Even if they choose negative attributes and forms of expression, we don’t have a right to judge them. And whose criteria would we use? Ah…that would lead us back to square one! Besides, they have a right to learn from this world, too…even if we don’t like the choices they make. If you believe in reincarnation, like I do, they’ll be back if they don’t get it in this life.

Becoming aware of how often you make decisions about others is a start. It’s amazing what goes through the mind every second of the day about people you pass, meet, or even glance at! I think most of the time we don’t even know we’re doing it. Catch yourself as often as possible when making a judgment value about someone else. Ask yourself, is this notion based on my intuition or on social values? If it’s the latter, make yourself get rid of the notion and allow your intuition to speak instead.

Wake up each morning and, before you get out of bed, say to yourself that you’re going to see the Light in all you meet during the day (including your own Light). Hold tightly to the thought that every single human being is unique, regardless of the choices they make, and that each person’s Light shines in its own unique way (even if people hide it…or try to). In other words, look beyond what your eyes were taught to see. Train (force) yourself. Soon, I believe, our eyes will see only the Light in each other. Say to yourself that you will be a positive influence on all you meet during the day. Eventually, even if subtly, the people around you will catch on and start doing the same. Well, let’s hope they choose to.

Kevin “PJ” McCauley, has been practicing Wicca for over 3 years, though he’s been pagan for closer to 10 years. He’s lived in Costa Rica for 3 years, and has two BA degrees - Political Theory and Education. Feel free to visit him at MySpace and to email him at peterjohnevan@gmail.com